Sex Toys For Your Phone Date
When some people have phone sex , they aren’t just using their fingers or hands, many like to incorporate sex toys into their phone sex play. Lots of guys like the idea that if they aren’t actually there fucking the lady they are on the phone with, that they are using a dildo on themselves so it’s acting as a substitute for their cock. Some men have even mentioned to me if they know I’m not using a sex toy, it’s just not the same to them! My fingers can turn me on plenty, yet ones that love the idea of a girl with toys, nothing less will do.
Some like to actually watch their girls masturbate for them on cam with their sex toys, big vibes sliding in and out of their pussies. Many guys on the phone will even ask to hear the vibe going and want you to hold it up to the phone. They are rubbing their cock imagining that toy you are using on yourself as you’re having phone sex with them is their own cock. It turns them on tremendously in most cases and they love to watch.
One sex toy that’s out there is a the Clone a Willy kit, where a guy can make a clone of his own cock and then slip a vibe into the middle of it, so his girlfriend can literally have a replica of his cock and use that on herself as she’s masturbating, so in effect he’s fucking her in absentia. Guys love this kind of stuff. They have such egos, it makes them feel good to know women would be using a toy cock of their very own cock. Knowing as they are having a phone date with their girlfriend she does in effect have his cock inside her still, so they are still together in some small way.
Fart Fetish Phone Sex
A man called me up last night and boy, was it a weird call! He had a fart fetish and it’s not like I never heard of that before, I’ve even done a few calls on it before, but he wanted me to make farting sounds with my mouth and I felt so silly doing it, but he said it really turned him on. Then he started going on about his girlfriend and how much he enjoyed her farting right in his face and him inhaling the aroma of it.
Hard to understand ones being so turned on by such a thing, or such a smell, but it happens. He then even started going on about how he wanted her to eat beans and cabbage and onions and all sorts of gas producing foods that would be likely to make you fart and normally you’d be horribly embarrassed by if you accidentally let some gas pass in front of your lover. No need for such embarrassments if you were this lad’s girlfriend, he’d love you all the more for it! He said nothing got his dick harder than his girlfriend sitting on his face, or better yet when he was going down on her pussy and she let out a big, gassy fart in his face.
No need to excuse yourself from the room to let one rip, just let her blow and get your guy as hard as a rock. He was telling me how after dinner one night his girlfriend and he were having sex and she farted as he was fucking her and it caused him to nearly blow his load he got so turned on. She’s laughed as she farted right in his face and he came as it happened. Not sure what he’d do if he got a shy girlfriend that was too uncomfortable being that casual around him. I’d be embarrassed and ashamed to, but he likes it, someone into everything I guess. He asked if I could try to really fart into the phone and I said mouth noises was as good as you’re going to get.
Tea and Sympathy
One thing some clients ask about is advice. Advice about their relationships, if they are in one, or if they are not how to get in one and attract a woman. I think people in general, phone sex callers or not, usually do not take advice at all. They ask someone’s opinion until they find one that mirrors their own and go with that one, or not even one at all and just do nothing and sit in limbo. So many call the phone sex lines looking for a dimestore psychologist that will tell them how to fix their problems. Most however are quite comfortable in their ruts and will do nothing.
Limbo is their comfortable home they are reluctant to leave. Change is painful, and if married and you’re advising them to leave their cold fish of a wife they haven’t loved for years and refer to as the bitch, it can be expensive to extricate themselves from, so they accept things as they are. Most people are like this. It’s easier to do nothing and complain than actually get off your duff and do something constructive to actually start to change things permanently for the better. It’s just too much work and staying as they are is a lot easier.
I can’t even count the number of callers I’ve told to leave their wives, forget that she’d take half what they’ve accumulated. Their money means more than their freedom. If that’s how they want to live, let them. They have the keys to their own prison cell and are choosing to not leave the cell. You can’t reason with them, pitiful. They however need to masturbate too, so I do my best with them. They want tea and sympathy, not true advice, as they have no desire to really do anything, to really change. They just want someone to feel sorry for them and agree with them, not tell them to actually do anything.
Three’s Company
This man phoned last night and wanted to tell me about the hottest sexual experience he’d ever had last week. I have lots of guys telling me various tales of debauchery, so I said sure, why not. Well it turns out he’d had his first threesome and it went pretty well for him. He and his girlfriend seemed to be pretty adventuresome types from what he told me and his girlfriend is also bi and loves to play with other women.
This old friend of hers came to visit and they’d had a thing going years before and still have that attraction, so they’d had some to drink and things got a bit naughty and a threesome ensued with the friend. He’d never satisfied two pussies in one night before, so it was a bit of a challenge for him. He was on his back and his girlfriend rode his cock and the friend was sitting on his face as he licked her cunt to several orgasms as he was having his dick drained by his girlfriend.
He was a happy camper, fucking them both, the friend at one point doggy style position while his girlfriend licked her clit underneath and made her cum so hard around his cock and he shot his full load unprotected into her shaved cunt until it dripped down her thighs and his girlfriend licked it all off and then full on went down on her friend and licked out his creampie he’d left behind in her. He said he was never so turned on in his life and didn’t have anyone else to tell about his exploits, so he called me and told me as he was masturbating reliving it in his mind again. He’d called phone sex lines before, but never to recount a real sexual adventure like this one. It did sound pretty hot honestly and I was stroking my pussy as I listened to him tell me all about it.
“I Have an Apple Up My Ass”
What sorts of things do callers say, well many confess things they have either done in the past or are doing as we talk to them. There are fruit fuckers and vegetable fuckers out there. I’ve talked to ones with carrots, cucumbers, and even an apple up his ass. The carrot and the cucumber I can kind of understand in a bizarre way, but an apple? Really? What makes you wake up and say to yourself, today I’m going to stick an apple up my ass? No idea if it was a tiny little crabapple, or a big Macintosh. All I can think of, is don’t eat pies at his house…
Some have used bananas and eaten them afterwards. Sort of like hiding the evidence in the best way they can think of to do so. I heard of one woman that used to fuck herself with vegetables and then cut them up and serve them to family and friends at a barbecue picnic. I was horrified, thinking of her pussy juices all those poor unsuspecting souls were ingesting. I mean, if you want to do that and eat your own vegetables that have been up your pussy and ass, feel free to do so, gross as it is, but making others ingest it when they have no clue? Fuck, that is sick and disturbed. The movie “American Pie” I think drove the fruit fuckers into high gear, giving ones ideas they shouldn’t be putting into practice.
I’d like to know after that movie how many guys actually tried to fuck a pie, I’m betting it’s not a small number! Sliding their dicks into a hole cut into a watermelon or a cantaloupe or pumpkin. It happens. I guess it’s a cheap sex toy, disposable, biodegradable, just a little odd though. Fairly harmless though. So I dare you to go to the supermarket and buy a cucumber and a tube of lube, nothing else-and go up to the teller and see her expression and that of the fellow shoppers!
