“I Have an Apple Up My Ass”
What sorts of things do callers say, well many confess things they have either done in the past or are doing as we talk to them. There are fruit fuckers and vegetable fuckers out there. I’ve talked to ones with carrots, cucumbers, and even an apple up his ass. The carrot and the cucumber I can kind of understand in a bizarre way, but an apple? Really? What makes you wake up and say to yourself, today I’m going to stick an apple up my ass? No idea if it was a tiny little crabapple, or a big Macintosh. All I can think of, is don’t eat pies at his house…
Some have used bananas and eaten them afterwards. Sort of like hiding the evidence in the best way they can think of to do so. I heard of one woman that used to fuck herself with vegetables and then cut them up and serve them to family and friends at a barbecue picnic. I was horrified, thinking of her pussy juices all those poor unsuspecting souls were ingesting. I mean, if you want to do that and eat your own vegetables that have been up your pussy and ass, feel free to do so, gross as it is, but making others ingest it when they have no clue? Fuck, that is sick and disturbed. The movie “American Pie” I think drove the fruit fuckers into high gear, giving ones ideas they shouldn’t be putting into practice.
I’d like to know after that movie how many guys actually tried to fuck a pie, I’m betting it’s not a small number! Sliding their dicks into a hole cut into a watermelon or a cantaloupe or pumpkin. It happens. I guess it’s a cheap sex toy, disposable, biodegradable, just a little odd though. Fairly harmless though. So I dare you to go to the supermarket and buy a cucumber and a tube of lube, nothing else-and go up to the teller and see her expression and that of the fellow shoppers!
I Fought The Law And The Law Won
I was driving to a friends party out of town, a long, lonely drive a few hours away on a boring stretch of highway. Flat as anything, as that part of the state can be and was so bored. The thought of a drive like this was awful alone. So I called up a guy I know, I know you’re not supposed to use a phone while driving, but I was the only car I could even see, it was hardly a hazard to anyone, not even me. There was nothing to concentrate on except a long strip of road as far as the eye could see. I was grateful to at least have someone to talk to during the journey there.
As conversations can tend to do, it got flirty and a bit hot and soon my friend on the phone was encouraging me to put my hand down my panties. Luckily I had a hands free phone attachment thing on the dashboard, so I thought, why not, what else have I got to do, so I started to play with my pussy. I was getting right into it and all of a sudden saw flashing lights in the rearview mirror. It was a squad car. I said I had to go to my friend on the phone and I pulled the car over. The officer asked why my car had been swerving all over the road and had I been drinking. I said no. He again asked why and I said I was embarrassed to say. He demanded an answer and I said I’d been masturbating. He got this shocked look and then a smirk on his face.
He said he’d avoid writing me a ticket if I gave him a blow job right then and there. I didn’t know what to say, I really couldn’t afford the ticket and I thought it was likely easier just to do it and not worry about it. So he whipped out his cock right then and there and I sucked him off right out of the drivers side window. He came in my mouth and I swallowed it and he said I could be on my way, but no more masturbating and driving at the same time! I got to my friends party a few minutes late, but boy what a drive.
Guilt Free Masturbation
Who exactly is having phone sex? A cross section of society, that’s who. Some people that are more religious and repressed will fall into having phone sex and other forms of online fun because it isn’t actual sex and they feel less guilty about having phone sex with someone online when there’s no actual penetration or body contact involved. For some it is the only type of intimate experience some have had with another person.
For many any type of masturbation is a riddled with guilt behavior to them they simply can’t stop doing, so ones that venture into phone sex are the real rebels. You are actually listening to another person masturbate and them hear you, it’s the next best thing to being there and actually fucking them. Even the most religious people get horny, no way around it. Phone sex may be as deep a connection as they can allow themselves to have with another person since to them unless you are married, sex is a sin.
People need to loosen up and understand being horny is no more shameful than being sleepy or thirsty, it’s just a drive, plain and simple and needs to be met, not fought, not prayed it will go away and is a wicked sin. Phone sex is a god way to enhance your masturbation if you’re not ready to take the real step towards sex just yet, for whatever reason. Calling a phone sex line can be a lot more satisfying than going on a real date, there’s no guarantee you will get lucky on a date, but a phone sex call is a sure thing!
Phone Sex For Adult Virgins
One set of people that call phone sex lines people may not even consider is adult virgins. Why are adults still virgins? All kinds of reasons. They may be religious and be “saving themselves”, they may have physical disabilities and have had trouble attracting anyone at all, they may have various sexual hang ups, they may be just ugly and gross and not be able to get a woman, they may be shy, the list goes on and on and many of these people may find phone sex as their only outlet.
Some can even be seniors, in their sixties that simply haven’t for one reason or another had the opportunity to get with a woman and are too shy or scared to hire an escort. I have heard all of the above reasons and more, and phone sex is the only connection or intimacy some have ever had with a woman. We serve a need for many of these phone sex callers, make no mistake. We are the oasis in the desert for a lot of them. Adult virgins are all among us, I read in a magazine once around 7% of the population will never lose their virginity. So for that demographic, masturbation plays a larger than average role in their lives, as it is the only sex they are ever going to get.
Phone sex is the ultimate way to enhance your masturbation if that’s all there is for you. Not everyone is visual and into porn, and for ones with specific fantasies, porn is useless, you need someone talking to you that can help craft an individual conversation just for you, that is of interest to only you. A custom made scenario for the two of you to discuss. Adult virgins need fun too. Don’t judge them, you have no idea what they have been through to still be in the situation they are in, many times it is not by choice, just the circumstances they have found themselves in and bad luck, as simple as that.
Masturbating In The Car
I was telling a phone sex caller of mine a funny story that happened to me a few years ago. It wasn’t funny at the time, but I can see the humor in it now. I was working at a place around a 40 minute drive from my house and I had just started home when my boyfriend called and was really horny and wanted to play. I said just wait til I get home we can fuck then. He said he couldn’t want. He wanted me to masturbate right there in the car as I drove home. I said it was rush hour and not only not safe, but I’d be sure to be seen by drivers in vehicles higher than I was driving in.
He literally begged me to touch myself and I was thinking this wasn’t a good idea, but I went along with it and boy, I was right. An 18 wheeler truck pulled along side of me and there was also a man in the passenger seat outside my drivers side door. I hear the horn blow and looked up and he was grinning from ear as he looked down into my window and saw my skirt up passed my hips and my hand down my panties as I had my cell phone in one hand and my cunt in the other as the man looked down with great interest as I massaged my clit while talking to my boyfriend all while trying to drive. The traffic wasn’t moving very fast, so I didn’t think I was in any danger of a driving accident, but embarrassment was an issue I was dealing with at this very moment. I then saw him start to take pics with his phone and I had no idea where they would end up.
My boyfriend was stroking his cock on the other end of the phone oblivious to what was going on, on my end. I didn’t know what to do, so I just kept up what I was doing and got closer and closer to orgasm, even with the truck guy watching. I was lost in the sensations of my pussy and my boyfriends sounds, and I let out a tremendous, guttural scream as I can and he went crazy, taking even more pics as I was writing and cumming in my seat. It was a drive home to remember and when I got in my boyfriend was still rubbing his cock and I went over to ride him, it was fucking hot.
