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The Lady in the Quicksand

Jonathan had gone out to the lake for the weekend alone with his camping gear. He just wanted some time to himself, maybe get a little fishing in. He had a peaceful first night and was going to go for a hike in the morning. He got up, cooked his breakfast and started out on his hike after eating. He saw a couple of other tents, so he knew some other campers were out in the same general area. He walked for a couple of hours and heard some struggling and walked towards it to see what the issue was.

He then heard a woman begging and pleading for help, but there was no one but him around to hear her. When he got closer and looked, it appeared she’d fallen into a pit of quicksand and was frantically struggling to reach the edge or the pit to pull her self out by grasping at the long grass that was along the edge. She was really struggling and finally she spotted him staring, yet not moving to help her. He did not feel inclined to help her, but he did feel an unexpected wave of desire wash over him. He’d not masturbated in weeks, he’d just been too busy with things, yet now in this moment the urge was incredible.

He unzipped his jeans and took out his cock and began to masturbate as she struggled and called for help, pleading for him to find a stick or anything to extend to her and pull her over to the edge with so he could save her. He could see she was tiring from her struggle and not moving as frantically. His cock was so rock hard in his hand as he stroked it watching her. She was yelling and crying and still he did nothing but pump his fist up and down his shaft watching her sink. He did not know why watching the lady sink in quicksand was arousing him this way and he felt on some level he should rescue her, yet he did not. She was up to her ears, her head turned up so her nose and mouth was free of the quicksand to breathe from. His balls filled with cum and then he saw her sink deeper so her mouth was covered and only her tiny nose peeked out of the surface of the quicksand. He knew she was not long for this world. He continued to stroke his cock. He walked closer to the edge of the pit and saw her go under. His jets of cum shot out onto the surface of the quicksand where only a few seconds before she’d been visible. Now there was nothing. Not so much as a bubble coming up to the surface. He zipped up his pants and continued on his hike. Never to tell anyone of his experience.

Fart Fetish For You!

Some callers have bizarre fetishes, one of them is fart fetish. They wish to have ladies sit on their faces and blow farts right up their nose. Not appealing for most people for sure, but there are ones out there that do have this odd fixation. One of the callers I have into this liked the idea when I mentioned it to him of filling scuba tanks not with the standard oxygen, but with farts. I don’t think they’d last too long inhaling nothing but farts, since there’s a very small amount of oxygen in farts.

Some callers like me to make sounds with my mouth while on calls, which you honestly feel quite ridiculous doing, but hey, it’s their dime, it’s what they are paying for. If me talking about sitting on your face after I’ve had a dinner of cabbage rolls and lots of carbonated beverages gets you going, be my guest. I could blast away up your nose until you rolled out of bed and couldn’t walk. Men into this usually are quite submissive and seek female domination to a good degree, or they’d not want this sort of behavior in the first place.

Have you a thing for fart fetish? Does just thinking about onions, beans, cabbage and eggs make your dick hard? All those things that make pungent, sulphury farts. You could be tied down, no way to escape, and me sitting on your face, you on the edge of suffocation and passing out from all stinky farts up your nose. There’s much sillier things guys are into than fart fetish, believe me, but it’s just one of those odd topics that’s makes people laugh when you tell them about it if they are not familiar with it. I’m not into porn, but I’d imagine if ones looked, they’d likely find fart fetish porn, there seems to be results no matter how odd the search is you use. So if fart fetish is your idea of a good time, by all means, if you’re seeking phone sex on that topic, I am happy to discuss it with you.

OMG Your Cock Is So Small

It’s ironic how big small penis humiliation is. It’s one of the top calls that guys call up and ask me to do for them. Small, pitiful, tiny, useless cocks that are no good for any woman, this is what they have. It turns them on when I laugh at them and tell them how I’d kick them out of bed if I saw that pitiful appendage dangling between their legs. That I’d take out my phone camera and snap a pic of it and send it to all my girlfriends so I could let them see how totally useless you really are.

They call up on the phone and sometimes even email me pics before the call so I can see how truly pathetic it is and ridicule them and post them on the blogs and whatnot. They like the odd fame they get when girls post their pitiful penis pics online and say this is such and such’s cock, look how sad it really is! One emailed a pic of his cock up next to a plug of a lamp cord, the plug was longer than his dick, like an inch and a half. As is any woman would even feel that nub go inside, let alone be able to cum from it.

One loser thought he had a “big cock” at four inches. I laughed at him and said in what universe is that big? It’s two inches shorter than average. I said your screen name should be Hung Like a Mouse. He was utterly clueless about his lack of size, I soon filled him in and told him what a nothing his dick was, that no woman would be raving about his lipstick sized cock. Nothing made him harder than my laughter and cruelty, and he came his few dribbles and was finished rubbing his little clitty for the night.

I Phoned a Girl and I Liked It

The girl that helped bring me into the phone sex world was bisexual, and she and I had phone sex a few times. It’s a funny story, it happened many years ago before the internet even. I was shopping in a record store and saw this pretty girl in there quite a while looking at all these unusual records of sound effects and my curiosity got the better of me and I asked what she needed sound effects for and she looked around and said phone sex was her job.

I still didn’t know what sound effects had to do with phone sex, then she explained about spanking noises and all kinds of things and how some clients liked these noises being used on calls in the background! I laughed and said I had no idea, and she asked if I’d like to go get a coffee and talk, so I had nothing better to and went. She told me all about talking on the phone to masturbating men and what it’s like and I should give it a try. She gave me her number and told me to call her later that night.

I did call her up and I wasn’t expecting the conversation to go down the naughty road it did. She was talking to me like she would a client to show me what it’s like and all of a sudden I started to get turned on. She could hear it in my voice and breathing and we started masturbating together. It was very unexpected, but oh so very hot! So see guys, sometimes things really DO get hot for us phone girls! I bet you’d like to hear all about how she told me she’d lick my pussy if she was here with me, and the hot talk led to her helping me get in at the company she took calls from and we’d play once in a while as well, so it’s all worked out quite well.

MILF Fantasy Phone Sex

I always recall years ago a British man that said he wanted to talk about MILF’s, which of course means Mom I’d Like To Fuck. Well this poor guy didn’t know what it meant. So I said, well you were the one that wanted to talk about MILF’s, what DO you think it means? I burst out laughing when he said in all seriousness, Mother In Law Fantasy! LOL! I thought well, that’s not what it means, but there are plenty of guys out there fantasizing about their mother in law’s. I’ve heard from countless ones of them that are. I always say be careful when you’re fucking your wife you don’t say her mom’s name!

Some have even taken the mother in law’s panties when they’ve been around to visit. The wife wouldn’t be impressed if she walked in on you masturbating with her mom’s dirty panties wrapped around your cock furtively sitting on the edge of her mom’s bed. Damp panties from mature pussy, caressing your cock with every silky stroke. Think of her older, cougar pussy pressed against the fabric all day, would you like to bury your nose in that crotch of the panties and smell her aroma? Maybe you’d even be so bold as to lick the crotch of those panties? Has she sweated all day, has she creamed in them? Does the crotch taste sweet?

Are you going to use those stolen panties on your dick when you call me to masturbate? What if wifey finds them….You’d be a bad, bad boy, wouldn’t you! Maybe she knows you took her panties and likes the idea. Maybe it turns her on knowing her son in law has the hots for her. Did you see her bend over in that low cut top last time you were at dinner? You think it was an accident she didn’t have a bra on? No, she saw the corner of her stolen panties coming out of your pocket, you think she didn’t notice, but she did. What would you have done if she’d pulled them out of your pocket in front of your wife and her husband? It wouldn’t have been pretty.

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